Affairs: How Could You?

How Could You?! Something that most faithful partners struggle with is trying to understand how their cheater could cheat. What was the reasoning and thinking that led them to make the choice to have an affair? How could they ignore, break, or suspend their commitment to their partner and their …

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Heroes and Villains

The Thing

The Infidelity Super Villain Ever wondered how Clark Kent got away with ‘hiding’ his real identity by combing his hair differently, and wearing some glasses? Or how nobody seemed to notice that beneath that innocuous trench coat, lurked The Thing? Affairs are often thinly disguised as only ‘being about sex’. …

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Affair Help: Entitlement & Self-Loathing

The Adulterous Sins of Our Father Figures By Benjamin Nugent Several years ago, my mother’s partner sent me an e-mail confessing to an emotional affair. He wrote that although he and my mother were breaking up, he wished to remain my friend. I reminded him that his infraction had been …

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Affair Help: The Cheater Code

The Cheater Code

The Members of Affair Website Present … The 10 Commandments of Being a Good Affair Partner It’s not well known, but there is a code of sorts when it comes to those who are indulging in extramarital affairs. Whatever reason that people cheat, it is thought that perhaps they are …

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Affair Help: Entitlement

Infidelity & Affair Help: Entitlement

One common characteristic of those who embark on an affair is a sense of entitlement. Often the underlying reasons for someone’s choice to have an affair are masked by personal justifications and excuses which typically place the blame on the relationship or partner/spouse. Lurking in the background, cheer-leading the way …

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Infidelity & Self-Justification

One of the most common questions I hear when talking to people whose lives have been shattered by infidelity is, “How could he/she?” When talking to an unfaithful spouse/partner, the answer to that question is very difficult to uncover. It’s common for the cheater to explain the reason for their …

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Entitlement to Infidelity?

Tracy Schorn & Infidelity

When the Cheater Has a Personal Epiphany by Tracy Schorn (edited) Did anyone see this article on Huffington Post? It’s quite a masterful mindfuck. Really, I think my ex-husband could’ve written this. It’s exactly the sort of faux remorse and parroted therapy speak that personality disorders excel at. Maybe I …

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Dr Shirley Glass Discusses Infidelity (Part 2)

Dr Shirley Glass Infidelity Expert

Infidelity: Shattered Vows (Part 2) By Hara Estroff Marano, Shirley Glass (edited) Source: Psychology Today, originally published 1998. Rebuild your relationship by rebuilding trust. Then open “windows” in the relationship. Continued From: Shattered Vows (part 1) HM: Are more couples trying to survive affairs these days? SG: People are more …

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The Illusion that Infidelity Built

The Rationalization Behind Cheating by huxbux at The Thought Refuse (edited) Chances are if you’re an adult, you’ve been in a relationship that ended because either yourself, or your significant other, cheated.  There is a distinct rationalizing process that occurs on the part of the cheater, both during the affair and …

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Justifying Infidelity

How Straying Partners Tend To Justify Infidelity Internally by Recently I was asked “what goes through the mind of a straying spouse during an affair?” This is a tricky question as most people would agree that when they got engaged and planned their wedding, the last thing on their …

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