Yes, Their Affair Was Your Fault

The Yes Game

The Blame Game Over the years we’ve talked to a lot of faithful partners after they have discovered their cheater’s affair. Most people who visit us are trying to understand why their partner has cheated and how this happened within their relationship. At this very painful point in their lives, people …

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Denial Makes the World Go Round by Benedict Carey Varieties of denial include inattention, passive acknowledgment, re-framing and willful blindness. For years she hid the credit card bills from her husband: The $2,500 embroidered coat from Neiman Marcus. The $900 beaded scarf from Blake in Chicago. A $600 pair of …

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Affair Help: The Trickle Truth

The post You Can’t Handle the Truth dealt with the issue of a cheater lying to the faithful partner to either preserve the relationship, minimize certain aspects of the affair, or to protect the faithful partner from pain. The ‘affair-denial lie’ is so commonplace that it seems almost too obvious …

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Affair Help: When Non-Monogamy Isn’t an Affair

Infidelity & Affair Help: Polyamory

There are numerous attempts at definitions for what constitutes an affair. Typically affairs are categorized as either an emotional affair, or a physical affair, but both terms suggest a consistent interaction between the cheater and another person over a period of time. These two labels alone (or even the term …

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Affair Help: Excuses and Justifications

Psychology: Infidelity & Affair help

Affairs: “I Treated Myself to a Marital Crisis” by Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D. Excuses for Having an Extramarital Affair “Whoever wants to be a judge of human nature should study people’s excuses.” ~ Hebbel “Fidelity is possible—anything is possible, if you’re stubborn and strong. But it’s not that important.” ~ Michelle …

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Gaslighting & Denial in Affairs

I was browsing some articles from my RSS feed and happened across an article that listed some excuses that cheaters have given their partners when discovered in an affair. I selected some of the more eye-rollingly terrible ones to duplicate here.   Infidelity & Affair Excuses My friend was texting …

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Public Infidelity, Private Debate

Infidelity & Affairs: Think no evil!

Not My Husband (Right?) By Jan Hoffman, NYT Published March 16, 2008 (edited) WHAT type of infidelity is forgivable in a marriage? What triggers an exit strategy? So ran at least one of the many hair-splitting strains of mesmerized chatter this week among women, especially current and former wives in …

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Why Women Forgive Infidelity

Why do Women Forgive Unfaithful Husbands? By Julia Llewellyn Smith (edited) Alison was used to her husband of 16 years, Jed, a television sound engineer, working unusual hours and for long periods away, so it took her a while to notice that, even by his standards, he was coming home …

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Infidelity: To Tell or Not To Tell?

Tracey Cox Infidelity Affair

If the Affair is Over, Should You Tell? By Tracey Cox This Monday (7th January) was the day people are most likely to cheat. The reality is a little under half of us have cheated at some point - regardless of what day it is. Some people are opportunistic cheaters …

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