“I'm not a teacher, only a fellow traveler of whom you asked the way. I pointed ahead - ahead of myself as well as you.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

Affair Fog Theory: Character Change

Who Are You

Part 4: Affair Fog Theory: Character Change Find the full affair fog series here: Affair Fog Theory Who IS This Person? I know him better than anybody - he’s not the man I’ve known for 20 years.” “I don’t even recognize her - where did my wife go?” “It’s like …

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Affair Fog Theory: Sex Addiction

Infidelity & Affair Help: The Myth of Sex Addiction

Part 3: Affair Fog Theory: Sex Addiction This third part of the affair fog series looks at the issue of sex addiction and whether it has validity as part of affair fog theory. It’s a lengthy article in order to adequately explore such a popular claim. Find the full series …

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Affair Fog Theory: Mental Health

The Affair Excuse: Mental Health

Part 2: Affair Fog Theory: Mental Health Part 1 of the Affair Fog Series identified common components of popular affair fog theory as including mental health disorders, sex/love addiction, character change, psychological morphing, and biochemicals. Find the full series here: Affair Fog Theory This post specifically discusses if mental health disorders can …

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What is Affair Fog?

Affair Fog

Part 1: The Affair Fog Theory Series This is the first in a series of posts exploring the theory of affair fog in cheaters. The rest of the series can be found here: Affair Fog Theory. What Is Affair Fog? Infidelity sites commonly refer to affair fog (as it applies to the …

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Yes, Their Affair Was Your Fault

The Yes Game

The Blame Game Over the years we’ve talked to a lot of faithful partners after they have discovered their cheater’s affair. Most people who visit us are trying to understand why their partner has cheated and how this happened within their relationship. At this very painful point in their lives, people …

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Truth and Lies

Katherine DunnThe truth is always an insult or a joke, lies are generally tastier. We love them. The nature of lies is to please. Truth has no concern for anyone’s comfort.
~ Katherine Dunn





Gremlins 1: IHG 2

Gremlin Wars I admit it. Those pesky little suckers had us on the run for a while. It’s been a few days since our connectivity issues began, and for that I apologize. It’s frustrating for us also when these types of issues disrupt the services we provide for you. Throwing gremlins into blenders, …

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Site Status: Update

We thank you for your continued patience with the connectivity issues in the forum. Our host service has now identified what’s causing the connection problems and we will be implementing the fix in the next few hours. We hope that this solution fully resolves the knock-on effect that it has …

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Forum/Site Issues

Some users are experiencing some intermittent connection issues that might be preventing access to the site and Discussion Forum. The service is fully functional if you can manage to connect, so feel free to continue to use it. Once you land on the site, the Chat Room is unaffected and …

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Disengaging the Affair Drama Queen

You’ve collapsed on the floor in a puddle of tears as you try to deal with your cheater’s ongoing affair, distraught and devastated by the bomb that has detonated slap bang in the middle of your life. You’ve begged and pleaded for them to stop their affair, to come back …

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In the Space Between Yes and No

The space between yes and noIn the space between yes and no, there’s a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; its the legroom for the lies you’ll tell yourself in the future. 

~ Jodi Picoult

Affair Rationalizations: Who Stopped You?


When a cheater sets off on the journey to Affairsville, they pack a few items into their bindle before chirpily skipping down the hackneyed path that many others have forged ahead of them. Not least in that little bundle of important items are the cheater’s rationalizations for their affair. These rationalizations come in …

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Craving Approval

Dr Harriet BraikerIf you are an approval addict, your behavior is as easy to control as that of any other junkie. All a manipulator need do is a simple two-step process: Give you what you crave, and then threaten to take it away. Every drug dealer in the world plays this game. 
~ Dr Harriet B Braiker

Once a Cheater Always a Cheater?

Kris Jenner Affair

“Once a cheater always a cheater“: It’s a phrase that can spark considerable debate within infidelity forums, where very few seem to take a neutral position on the subject. Those who are firmly opposed to the idea that a cheater will always be a cheater tend to be those who reconciled …

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Transparency After the Affair


The Transparency Trap “You must have transparency!” It’s typical advice in infidelity forums and one that is frequently espoused as a necessary part of reconciliation: When you discover that your partner is cheating/has cheated, demand and expect transparency from them if you wish to reconcile. What Does ‘Transparency’ Mean? Well, …

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