Understanding Infidelity

Recovery From Infidelity

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Therapists, counselors and psychologists may have studied infidelity and its attendant effects, and may even have interviewed and counseled those who have endured it. Despite the information they gather, their understanding of this issue is distorted by economic interests. Very few therapists have any formal training whatsoever in dealing with the cause or aftermath of infidelity.

Infidelity hurls us unwillingly into a gaping chasm of pain, confusion and devastation. It is often the most profound, the most agonizing, and the most isolating experience of our lives.

Something we know here is that to truly understand infidelity, you must have experienced it. Sometimes sympathy, while kindly offered, feels hollow and lacking in real substance. Real understanding originates in real experience.

The Marital Recovery Industry

It is in the industry’s interest to support and perpetuate Excuse Smog and then offer the ‘cure’ for the ‘disease state’ of cheating. The Comfort of Excuse Smog sets you up to be convinced that:

  • cheating is curable (it isn’t, because it isn’t a disease state)
  • you can unilaterally engineer marital recovery (you can’t)
  • your cheater is temporarily insane (they’re not)
  • the industry can help you redeem them and return them to the marital fold (neither you nor the industry can do either)

The industry steers you away entirely from the issues of abuse, dysfunction, divergent goals and values, and the option of divorce. The billable hours potential on this business model is enormous.

In our experience, the traditional approach itself is directly responsible for the widespread failure of post-affair reconciliation attempts.

Many sites promise you the “secret” of how to save your relationship, or how to win your spouse or partner back, or even how to stop an affair. Often these services are pitched by therapists or vaguely-termed “experts” who have either “discovered” or “developed” the secret to saving your marriage. Behind their rhetoric is their fee.

Personal Recovery

We do not position ourselves to push you towards any particular relationship outcome – we don’t have an agenda to shepherd you towards either divorce or reconciliation. We are invested solely in helping you navigate through the affair, and want to see you becoming healthier and gaining the clarity to make decisions that are in your own best interest – and that could happen within a relationship, or outside it.

Our experience and knowledge is offered freely by people with considerable experience and knowledge, and with very different relationship outcomes after infidelity.

We do not claim to hold The Big Secret – that secret is a myth, perpetuated by those who want to entice you to pay for their services. Your desperation is, to them, a powerful marketing/business opportunity.

We are not a revenue-generating site – we fund it privately without advertising marital recovery programs, and are not “free to fee”.

We do not believe in holding information and knowledge to ransom, or profiting from others’ trauma. We are here because we choose to be, because we wholeheartedly desire to help, and because we want to offer our own experiences as a lifeline for others.

We are sorry that you had to find us, but we are glad that you did.

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