Your husband had an affair? Well, he’s a man, okay?

Your husband had an affair? Provide a better home.

That’s the message that televangelist Pat Robertson conveyed in an episode of “The 700 Club” to a wife seeking help to get over her husband’s infidelity. This has resulted in some considerable backlash, prompting the Christian Broadcasting Network to release a statement saying,

As a first step in the process, Dr. Robertson stated that she should stop dwelling on the cheating. Next, he recommended that she remind herself of all the reasons she fell in love with him in the first place so that she might try to fall back in love with him all over again.”

Lastly, his point was that everyone is human and there is much temptation outside of the home, so she should do whatever she can to strengthen their home and relationship. His intent was not to condone infidelity or to cast blame. We regret any misunderstanding

Having reviewed this video, it seems entirely clear to me that Pat Robertson is of the mind that men are simply built to cheat (though I am certain that he would not provide the same free pass to female cheaters). In the past he has made other repugnant comments about men and women experiencing marital problems.

Re: General David Petraeus’ affair with Paula Broadwell:

The man’s off in a foreign land and he’s lonely and here’s a good-looking lady throwing herself at him. I mean, he’s a man

Re: How a woman’s looks might be to blame for her husband’s drinking. He recounted a story about a woman who asked her clergyman how to stop her husband’s drinking.

She was awful looking. The preacher looked at her and said, ‘Madam, if I was married to you I’d start to drink too’

Our Response to Pat Robertson’s Twaddle

1. Here’s the secret: Stop talking about The! Cheating!

Infidelity, Affairs & Adultery: Pat RobertsonYes, stop talking about it dammit! Talking about it might make him feel badly about it. Or maybe someone else might find out?! Or maybe it might make him have to admit that he ‘sinned’. Yes, it’s your job just to put up and shut up. Who in all hell do you think you are, daring to talk about man’s business like this?

2. He cheated on you, well, he’s a man, okay?

Yes, and because he’s a man, that means he cheats because it’s part of the inherent make-up of men. Ergo, to be a man means that you are a a witless, uncontrolled stereotype with no ability to tame the trouser snake because of your extra Y chromosome. And yet the bible says that adultery is a sin.

This tells me that God hates men and wants them all to die: Why would they be ‘made’ naturally unable to be monogamous and then say that if they commit adultery, they will be put to death? Should I conclude that the 7th commandment must have been written by a female misandrist god with PMS?

Oh, and because you’re a man, that means that you cannot want a monogamous relationship. It’s unnatural.

3. So what you do is begin to focus on why you married him in the first place, on what he does good. Does he provide a home for you to live in, does he provide food for you to eat, does he provide clothes for you to wear, is he nice to the children? Do you have a happy family, does he take the kids to sporting events, does he go out to watch little league games, does he share with you stuff that’s going on, and uh, is he handsome – or is he … what is it? Start focussing on those things and essentially fall in love with him all over again.

Yes, that handsome blighter! So what if he’s an axe murderer – he puts food on the table, right? Just remember all the good things he does because of your female incapability of buying your own clothes. Now, pat him on the head for being a good boy.

4. And I recommend you reach out and touch him, touch his face, touch his face, hold his hand, look into his eyes … talk to him.

Yes, because touching him won’t give you an STD at all, right? Just love him through it. Focus on the new dress he just bought you, and love him for paying for it. Touch his face – look into his eyes … talk to him … *Applies Brakes* Wait, what? Talk to him? Oh, yes, talk to him about his fabulousness and his good Christian ways, just not about his cheating. Got it. Are there such things as ‘Good Boy Drops’ for men? You might want to look into that.

5. But you praying, “Oh God, keep me not to hate him for what he did when he was with that the stripper in that hotel room 10 yrs ago when I’ll never forgive him, kinda thing please help me.”

Ahh, so the Robertson statute of limitations is 10 years? Gotcha. So … if the hooker and the motel were 6 months ago, that means you can touch his handsome face with a nail embellished 2×4, while looking in his eyes and thanking him for allowing you to live under his roof? Is talking about the affair allowed? Let me read back up. Nope, that doesn’t seem to be covered by the same rule.

Also, why pray to a god to help you forgive his adultery, when it’s the same god who wrote the rules that if you commit adultery, you get put to death? Isn’t that rather putting yourself in the frame for some smiting, for thinking you know better? After all, if a god wrote the rules, who do you think you are to pray to that god to help you forgive what your god has decreed as unforgivable? Questioning your god’s rules? You might want to dodge that smiting stick yourself.

Happy Face

6. So what are you focusing on? You’re focusing on the thing that makes you mad. Stop that.

While you’re at it, move to Stepford and take some high dose anti-depressants and drink some of that Kool Aid. Now, put on a happy face!

7. Start focusing on the good stuff. And he must have something good other you wouldn’t have married him, so think about those things and give him honor instead of trying to worry about it.

Yes you honor-hoarding ingrate! Stop guarding that bucket of honor you’re hiding and start giving him some of it! Sheesh, honor isn’t something he has or doesn’t – no – if he doesn’t have it, it’s because you’re failing in your duty to give him his daily dose. Now, hand it over and have a Xanax … you’re letting that smile slip.

8. But recognize also, like it or not, males have a tendency to uh … uh … wander a little bit, and what you want to do is make the home so wonderful that he doesn’t want to wander.

Yes! Don’t you know that the way to distract men from their natural tendency to fucking around, is to make sure that the house smells of fresh coffee and baking bread, and that you greet him at nights wearing nothing but an apron and a smile? You clearly don’t want your husband to live, because you know that if you don’t do it properly and stop him from committing adultery, God is going to smite him – that will be something else that’s allll youuur fault. So buck up little woman – start boiling some pot pourri and making his favorite pork chops. That should do the trick.

9. But think of the temptations that are out there. The internet is filed with pornography, the magazines are filled with salacious pictures of women. You look anywhere you turn around there is some solicitation to the senses to entice a man.

Yes, because it’s you damn women who put all those salacious pictures up on every street corner and on the back of milk cartons and up on the walls of primary schools (because they’re everywhere you look!). It’s you damn women who take these pictures, and use them in marketing, with the sole intent to entice a man into fucking around! Ha! You can tell yourself that it’s about selling sun tan lotion, or bikinis, or tampons, but we’re onto you! We know that it’s to entice men to adultery so that they are in the queue for a jolly good smiting. Misandrist!!!! … Well, God did make woman in her image, right?

10. And so what you have to do, is say that my husband is captured, and I want to get him free.

The poor hapless sap. Some wanton harlot stole into his office and injected him with horse tranquilizers and kidnapped him and had her wicked way with him. She shackled him to the bed and screwed his brains out. And then did it again the following day. And the next. And the next. And the day after the next. It’s been going on for a good year or so, have you no empathy?!!!! Freeeeeeeee hiiiiiim! Bake more bread! Smile more! That will stop the fallen woman from taking him tomorrow!

11. And reach out and think of the good stuff and then begin to thank god that you have a marriage that is together and that you live in America and good things are happening.

Yes. Because America is where it’s at. Ignore the news where it says that bad things are happening. Take a klonny. Be grateful you’re married because you don’t have the capacity to survive without a handsome male axe murderer buying you dresses and feeding you. And remember, America is the land of the free … unless you’re a female in Robertson’s world.

Just as an aside, there aren’t female cheaters, right? Because … men only cheat because it’s genetic. And since women don’t have that pesky extra Y chromosome, then they don’t cheat. Got it. All is well with the world. Rampant misogyny, sexism and religious flimflam, all wrapped up in science – what a guy!

Now, I don’t believe in ‘sin’ but if I did I’d be wondering why this Robertson fellow isn’t considered one of the deadly ones.

The Christian Broadcasting Network’s statement that Robertson does not condone affairs is unbelievable, at best. I didn’t misunderstand what Pat Robertson said in the least. Additionally, it seems entirely obvious that Pat Robertson does very little (if anything at all) to hide his sexist and misogynist beliefs or thinking. Perhaps the CBN could have addressed that instead.

Wayfarer

“I'm not a teacher, only a fellow traveler of whom you asked the way. I pointed ahead - ahead of myself as well as you.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

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