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Reconciling in an Unhealthy Relationship

Before rushing into a reconciliation after an affair, pause and consider the relationship you were actually in. Affairs are examples of part of broader patterns of behavior and thinking, and it isn’t uncommon for the relationship or marriage to be unhealthy in other ways too. ~ Wayfarer 9 Signs That You Might Be In An […]

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Affairs: Betrayal and Endurance

Infidelity: Betrayed Partners Suffer but Marriages Often Endure by Jan Hofmann (1988) for the LA Times ” . . . And cleave only unto her, so long as you both shall live?” “I will. . . . ” Marriages begin with that pledge, among others. But do they end if the promise is broken? Most […]

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Affairs & Immunity

Don’t Think Your Marriage is Affair-Proof! by Harriet Lerner Ph.D When you feel threatened by a partner’s relationship outside the marriage, speak up. You can’t stamp out his desire for others, nor can you stop her from being unfaithful. But that doesn’t mean that you have to shut up, or blind yourself to a potential […]

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Infidelity & Affair Help: A Fresh Perspective

The Affair Threat of Cross-Gender Friendships

There are many articles and advice columns that offer advice on how to ‘affair-proof’ your marriage/relationship. One affair-proofing-rule that is often postulated is that those in committed, monogamous relationships should avoid cross-gender friendships. The rationale behind this is often that there is always some hidden sexual agenda for one or both friends, or the likelihood […]

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Affair Help: Redefining Monogamy

After an Affair by Ian Kerner (edited) We’ve all heard the adage: “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” If your partner has been unfaithful, you’re likely getting all sorts of advice from well-meaning friends and family. Much of that advice may involve ending your relationship. Yet it’s possible — and perhaps even beneficial — to […]

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