The Magic Reconciliation Recipe

Magic Reconciliation Recipe

The Magic Marital Formula: If They’re Selling, We’re Buying After an affair has been disclosed or discovered, the immediate intent is generally to keep the relationship together at all costs. It’s understandable as a knee-jerk reaction – faithful spouses and cheaters alike often cling to the familiarity and security that the relationship represents. When…

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Why Can’t My Cheater Choose?

Cheater Confusion One subject that we tackle regularly with faithful spouses is the question of why their cheater won’t choose. “Why can’t he just decide if he wants me or her, so that I can  move on?” “She can’t make up her mind and keeps saying she’s confused.” “He says…

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Affair Exposure: Brave or Manipulative?

Affair Exposure

You don’t have to look far to find a slew of sites that advocate the necessity and success of affair exposure, where the faithful spouse is advised to ‘out’ their cheater’s affair as a strategy to protect the marriage and bring about the demise of the affair relationship. It was highlighted…

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Non-Monogamy: Hold the Wrath?

Infidelity vs non-monogamy

Post-Affair Desire for Non-Monogamy I encounter many cheaters who, after their affair is discovered, make sudden pronouncements about how difficult monogamy is, how it’s unnatural, and how they really want an open marriage. Exploring this generally highlights that they don’t want an open marriage at all, as the very idea…

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My Cheater is a Victim of Affair Brainwashing

Look Into My Eyes … Visit any number of infidelity support boards and you will find numerous claims of affair partners brainwashing cheaters. It might sound ridiculous, but it’s a tempting narrative for someone who wants to believe that their cheater is not fully conscious of, or responsible for, their terrible…

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Tinfoil Hats Required

Bad Affair Advice

Bad Affair Advice Affair advice – therapists, family, friends, and infidelity forums are loaded with it. When an affair becomes part of your relationship, it’s natural and reasonable to reach out for help and advice from professionals, from people who care about you, and from people who have already gone through…

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I Cheated Because You’re Fat

My affair, your fat.

You Let Yourself Go! We see it everywhere, particularly targeted at women: Don’t ‘let yourself go’ when you get married. Don’t wear sweat pants, make sure you do your hair and make up every day, and watch your weight. Oh yeah? Or what? Well duh! If you don’t keep yourself…

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The St Valentine’s Day Massacre

Coping with an affair on Valentine's Day

Coping With an Affair on Valentine’s Day The expectations that we have about Valentine’s Day are so ingrained culturally that even being single on that day has almost become stigmatized. It’s the one day of the year when the status of our relationships (or our relationship status) is often on…

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The Magical Reconciliation Pixie

Reconciling after an affair

Our forum and chat room allow us to talk to our members here about their specific situations, as well as general issues relating to infidelity. One of our forum members recently posted what they have learned about  reconciliation and how they now view their approach to post-affair recovery – I’ve…

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Unmet Midlife Foo Needs

Why You Should Avoid Marital Therapy After an Affair One of The Divorce Magazine’s readers posted a question in response to the IHG article there, 10 Steps to Coping With Infidelity. My response to this question was published as an article, and I have reproduced it here for our own readers.…

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